I Do Not Want To Be President
Hurley, NY — Ladies and gentlemen of politics, please do not continue to send me fruit baskets. I do not want to be president. I will not run. I appreciate the sincerity of your CONSTANT PLEADINGS, but I already have a life’s mission, and I can not be side tracked in to being the leader of the free world. This blog must go on, no matter what. If I don’t have the time to work part time at gas station how could I have time to BE PRESIDENT!!!
Of course I am flattered by your courtings. Only the very cream of of society, the smartest and most able, are considered for the presidency. It’s the most important job in WASHINGTON, D.C. But the BLOG WOULD SUFFER.
Just now I received an e-mail from a political guy or something whose name I will not use in this column for fear that the bots from Google — the company that has already tried to destroy me not once, but many times AND FAILED — the bots would miscategorize my post and people would start to find my site with the WRONG search terms, bad search terms, like when Google made everyone who wanted to see movies of FAT LESBIANS come to my site. It is not a site for that. It is a site for this blog. My blog, the blog of me, the King of the Bloggers. And I don’t blog about fat lesbians. Some people might, but I don’t. What would I say about them? I don’t know anything about that. I am not a lesbian fat expert. PLEASE DO NOT FIND MY SITE WITH THESE SEARCH TERMS.
The e-mail says that they need me, that America needs me, and maybe I would consider being the vice presidential candidate. I will not even consider this. I am refusing, but I am only refusing to be the presidential candidate! This other job is beneath me. I won’t even refuse it. On the job of president is worthy of my refusal. After all I am a king! King of the bloggers.