I Do Not Want To Be Vice President Either!
Hurley, NY — Many people in the supposed “mainstream” supposed “media” supposedly misconstrued my last post where I refused to refuse to be vice president as a statement that I did want to be vice president. IT IS NOT TRUE! I merely felt it was below me to refuse such a menial job. That does not mean I would do that job. If someone came up to you and said, “We need someone to clean out the drains in the morgue twice a year,” you wouldn’t even dignify that with a response. It is BENEATH YOU, probably. I don’t know. Maybe one of you has that job. I don’t mean to hurt your feelings. Someone has to do it. I’m sorry it’s you. Maybe you’ll be able to get a better job. You should look at the toe tags of the dead bodies. For almost every one of them there’s a job that’s recently been vacated. Or at least there’s a bed in a nursing home or something. You have to KEEP UP WITH THE TIMES. We don’t have time to slow down these days. To spend our time responding to job offers, or showing up for job interviews or filling out job applications correctly or even listening to people screaming at us that we need to get a job and start earning money to help pay for food and housing when clearly since we have those things someone must be paying for them and I have work to do.
My greatest fear is that the media has created such a frenzy around my non-existant acceptance of the vice presidency that someone has already begun printing bumper stickers. Millions of them. Somewhere a recent immigrant has spent his last few precious dollars on printers ink and adhesive backed vinyl and printed my name on the bottom of thousands of bumper stickers, waiting only to see whose name will go on the top. And to the right there will be a little American flag waving in a most unrealistic fashion. Or a picture of a donkey and an elephant in top hats eat dinner together. Some such political symbolism. One country’s symbol is the two-headed eagle. Sure it looks nice, but this creature never existed!!! Is that what their country stands for? Non-existence? I’d hate to live there.
Oh, it’s hard, these politicians are so earnest. But no, I will not be president.